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Sunday, January 30, 2005

tantra torah: sex in the context of drugs

I just called it that to distract people

The yeshiva was more interesting to me than sex for a while, teaching me to refocus my erotic imaginations into devotional conceptual narratives, and the yearnings into their essences: the yearning for the divine, for the infinite and the all-assuring consolations. Know that while you're davening, if it's real, then it's actually like copulating with the divine presence

no! that's not what i mean! oops--- er, unifying the supernal name of my lord, as it rams it's love back and forth into itself, Yud and hey! wow and Hey! With new letters being born as children of simple ideas marry off into larger memeplex communities, as simpler ideas spawned progressively more complicated ones, as 1 became two and ever since back in the day when Adam ate from the originalist tree.

Oops again! I promised a tu bishvat torah, but i'm a bit late with is, but this is the torah that went around some Seders monday night. It's a Shlomo Torah, remixed and slightly retranslated as the profound mystery of what the trees are fixing. snakes of course.

What is the snake trying to say to Chava, when he talks to her about the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, what's he really saying?

This is how G-d became G-d, right?

----

As if to say, pfaw, you think G-d is so deep? He's a Kabbalist, the serpent, and he's trying to say, oh, it's not so deep. A little apple is all it is.

What is the serpent is always saying is oh, here's all it is, here is what G-d's really about. and it'd just... I'm so heartbroken I (my mind anyway) have done the same thing, in attempts to break down terms and specific definitions for situations and relationships. this is the voice of the abstract unconcious which speaks from the root of our soul. It is the power to make a law and decree in the world, from the world, the voice that responds Baruch cavod malchuto l'olam waed.

Thank style empire forever and ever! yeah!

Words are fun, but only half the experience, shapes and intuition are heart language, and can only sense clearly if it's being trusted to. The mind is so in love, and is so desperate to say it, the heart just smiles, and doesn't have to say a word.

A happy mind is one that lets the heart shine free into the world

Can the mind make anything safe? If he's not there to do that, what good could he possibly be? entertainment? entertainment is pretty important? skills? fixing cars and feremting pickles for the winter?

It's shabbos so don't worry about it, she said.


Not for commercial redistribution.
Yerushalyim, Shvat 5741.

Until the month of Shvat Everything is Dead, because Everything is happening on
the Inside. According to Beis Shammai, the first (Ras Hadash) is Rosh Hashona
(New Year of Trees), and according to Beis Hillel, the fifteenth.


What's happening?

Listen to this.

What's "beitah -- stuffing"?
Why can't I chew? <<<<<<<****Why Lord why?****>>>>>>>
According to the Arizal, every month (((((On de' Hebrew Calandah! ))))) corresponds to a letter of the
Hebrew
alphabet and to one of the twelve tribes.

This moonth, the letter is
"tsaddi" --

whose letters stand for

Amhha
Kuolom
Tszaddikim -- Your entire nation is righteous.

---What could that possibly mean?----


(whispered intensely)
Listen to this:


The holy Izhbetzer says that

a Tsaddik
is someone
who helps you get your outside shining,
who
gets
your
out
side

shining
into
your
in
side.

The inside-- we have it already.

The only
thing,

sadly enough,

when it comes to the outside,


we've lost the shine. (from fear?)

An
awesome Torah.

It's so deep, you know, it's beyond words.

The Tsaddik is one who gives you the vessels,

that your outside should be vessels for your insides.

What happens to most people? Inside they're a gevaldt, right?
But their outside has
absolutely no vessels
for what they have inside. So the inside gets lost. (chas w shalom!)

You know what the Izhbetzer says? The moment we got out of Egypt we
make Moshe Rabbeinu so much trouble.

We do it all wrong

In Egypt we never
did anything wrong (Can you imagine? sigh!)
Why now?

In Egypt, everything was "inside".

Inside, you
don't do wrong.

Listen to this. Imagine, without saying anything bad, when somebody gets divorced.
After getting married or before?

You know, on a joke level, someone once told me,
he wants to get divorced first and then married-- why should he ruin his marriage
after?

Ok, it's a joke. But you know what it is? What's marriage ?

Marriage is
connecting your outside to the inside.

Inside,
it's ok,
inside I connect. The outside,
mamash, day to day life.

Washing negel wasser (dishes), brushing your teeth -- outside.
That's what summer is all about. Summer is the inside coming outside.

Ok now listen to this.

awesome, awesome.

Everybody knows that this month
is the fixing
of the beginning
of the downfall of everything.

The snake tells Eve,

Listen to this, deepest depths.

You know what G-d told you not to eat from
the Tree of Knowledge.

That's how G-d became G-d.

Listen to the deepest depths.

Do you know what brother snake is saying?

What do you think G-d is about.
He's a famous kaballist. He took an intensive weekend in Kaballah.
Do you really
think G-d is anything special, something awesome.
Nothing.
You eat an apple.
You eat a PhD in Kaballah (Or a Mushroom?) and you have it.

What is "stuffing"? ("Pounding" might be a good ebonic translation)

No inside. Just stuff it in. Who cares, right?

Holy stuffing is the other way around.

I want the inside.


I want the holiest to shine into me.

I don't want the outside to interrupt from the inside.

G-d should put it into me
the way it really is.

Ok, now here comes a really deep Izhbetzer Torah.

What's the difference between
a cute little vegetable and a tree?

How come a vegetable is dead when it's done?

A tree can live for hundreds of years. He says the deepest Torah.

The tree prays
to G-d,

please


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You know what's praying the most?

And this is one of the top ten Izhbetzer Torahs.

It's good to remember. How come
one apple tree
tastes so good
and another one not?

When the apple seed is praying
before G-d
the very last second
before its completely disintegrated
it's the prayer of the deepest depths.
And if its prayer is not so deep...There you have two trees.

I mean the depths of this Torah is awesome.

Gevaldt, it's the very last prayer
we say before we leave the world...
A vegetable prays a cute little prayer.

A vegetable grows and then just stops...
But an apple seed, it prays so much.

its every second. It can't stop.


The apple seed's prayer is a "forever" prayer.

So the tree lives forever because this seed prayed so hard.

Shvat is the Rosh HaShona L'Elanot, the new year-- the headquarters-- of the trees.

Now listen to this, it's so deep.

A vegetable
when it disappears
doesn't cry.

It says,
"I had my day.
I'm happy.
I had a summer.
I had a good time on the earth,
saw the sun,
went to the food co-op, ended up in the stir fry, in the chulent...
halivei (it should only be).

Do you know what the tree is crying out?

The tree is at is end, each year.

Listen to this.

The tree when it reaches the end, mamash,
all its prayers are rising up again.

The tree prays all its prayers again. Awesome.

I want to tell you something very very deep.

Imagine
I need coffee.

I say, "Please G-d,
give me some coffee."
And G-d answers me,
"Ok, I'll get you some coffee".

But when I pray for something very deep,
my prayer is all that there is.
The more
I need something from G-d,
the deeper the depths my prayer touches my neshama(highest soul).

And that prayer
touches all the prayers
which I ever prayed in this lifetime and
perhaps other lifetimes as well...

what do we know...

You want the real truth. I don't know.

You see there are two types of Torah --

from the Tree of Knowledge
and from the
Tree of Life.

The Tree of Knowledge Torah, cute...


the Tree of Life Torah -- beyond choice.

Don't choose.
Just stuff it down.

I don't have words to explain it -- it's the
deepest Torah... so deep...

What is seder night all about?

Seder night, G-d is mamash giving me His light.


What is the deepest freedom in the whole world?

You know what our problem is?
We take the deepest holiest thing (within ourselves)
and we cut them short.
Chew here, chew there,
change it all so that it fits...

What is Kadeish about -- the first item in the
Seder -- what do we do with the cup?
Everyone is chewing it down from all sides so that it fit...




You want to love someone the most?


Stop chewing!


What is the fixing?


Can you swallow it without chewing it?
Take it in,
not like Esau (traditionally equated with Rome).

Esau wants to swallow up
the whole world.
Right?


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