The truth is
I don't need food or drugs as much as I have done either both
On some level.

When life is so fufilling
neither is attractive,
when I'm in love and it doesn't hurt
Or when it hurts, and i'm so happy to feel
I don't need drugs

I love that there is an alternative to hurting and bitterness, and
I would love to live in a world that didn't drive me crazy all the time sometimes
I appreciate
the things that satisfy and sweeten
in the least destructive way possible.

Stevia:
Is the least destructive sugar
Raw Honey:
dries and cleanses but still
rots teeth.
Maple syrup:
is cooling, but alas!
dampness is not healthy for me anymore

Sugar makes me slow, sad, weak, fat
and once I trusted it so much
back when I was a child

Marijuana
when it's good
slows and speeds
burn out is No Fun.

I can't feel the world anymore when I smoke too much weed
I have smoked too much weed sometimes.

Lord! give us strength and sense
to know when too much is that
and to realize when the sweets that once saved us
is too much
and let go of needing that
to make me feel ok

Not the suffering, and not it's reward?
Lord! give me a heart to love pain
and fear not death
to be aware
of why I consume,
and have access to the best consolations ever

extra to share
and enough will to refuse
save me from the karma of fucking people up
or over
or under
or just leaving them behind?